just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize