just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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