ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
