Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
