Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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