Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
