Whatcha textin bout Willis?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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