You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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