I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
