It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
