What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I enjoy the company of your penis
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
