So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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