Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
