i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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