I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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