I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
