Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
