new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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