i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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