yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
