all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
