i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
