At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
