Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
