You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize