I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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