coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
