she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I feel great
I just peed on a car
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
