that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
