Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
