I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
