He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
