so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
