i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Is Oprah even human
I just gargled with NyQuil
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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