i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The beer is more important than you right now.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
