Sorry, I don't speak sober.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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