Are we in a gay sports bar?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
