I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
