How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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