what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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