i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize