I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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