Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
