You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
