how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
