Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
