I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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