if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
