goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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