The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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