that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize