The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
