what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
