I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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