There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
